I’m still in absolute awe of how entirely wrong Shinsekai Yori managed to prove my worry  at the halfway point that it had dug itself too deep to be able to rise out of the hole and become a truly great show. In a complete reversal of Shinsekai’s inconsistent start, the second half of this series is some of the best anime I have ever seen. Since I’ve already covered the finale, which was to me the greatest icing on this delicious cake, I’d like to look now at the time when the series, which had been airplaning my doubts on a spoon in front of my face for several episodes by this point, making them look increasingly silly, finally forced the spoon into my mouth and made me eat those words.

With episode 18′s spectacular first battle between the humans and the queerats, Shinsekai Yori had at last played the hand it had been so patiently building up all the way up to that point. It was starting to become clear just what was going on, and the storytelling choices that had in the first half seemed odd and out of place – in particular the three-episode focus on queerat politics – were starting to come together. Squealer had not yet revealed the full extent of his genius leadership and scheming, but if the show had been lacking in momentum before, it certainly wasn’t now.

But while it was episode 18 that kicked the show’s final act into motion, it wasn’t until 19 that the biggest card was laid on the table. Where Shinsekai had up to this point contained its share of horror elements, episode 19 went the full mile. A small group, on the run from a ruthless and numerous enemy, explores an abandoned hospital. Under constant threat of queerat ambush (and indeed it was more than just the threat), the exploration is fraught with tension – a classic “test of courage,” only with lives actually on the line. Only the hospital wasn’t abandoned. It was overrun. And the more the group saw of the hospital, the more about it seemed eerily wrong.

The word “fiend” was never spoken. But when a man burst into a pillar of purple flames on the run from an unseen foe, there could be no other word on anyone’s mind. The final piece finally in its place, it was time for the real story to begin.

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure is not the only fine specimen of HOTBLOOD I experienced this year. That is an honor shared with a show by the name of Shin Mazinger: Shougeki! Z-hen On Television, a reimagining of Go Nagai’s classic Mazinger Z helmed by super robot auteur Yasuhiro Imagawa himself. The other half of my 12 Days of HOTBLOOD series will, thus, be dedicated to none other than Shin Mazinger Z.

After opening with the classic introduction to the original Mazinger Z, Shin Mazinger’s first episode leaps straight into the midst of the final battle before rolling out a full episode’s worth of awe-inspiring moments in what is essentially a fantastically hotblooded clip show of the series to come. Episode 2 kicks off with one of the most fist-pumpingly epic super robot opening themes of all time (ROCK MEEEEEEEEEEE), concludes the Final Battle that episode 1 started, and steps back to the beginning – restarting the series it just ended in a spectacularly-directed episode the likes of which only Imagawa could produce.

Okay, we’ve got the time-honored super robot setup going on here, albeit an extremely well-done implementation of that setup. That’s all well and great, but now that we have Mazinger on the scene, let’s get on to what makes Mazinger Z what it is. Enter episode 3 – while the narrator gleefully sets the mood, announcing “A POWER CERTAIN TO KILL,” we get

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

A SEXTUPLE-TAKE of the original, genre-defining Rocket Punch, blasting the head off an enemy robot statue.

Welcome to Shin Mazinger Z.

I was in another podcast! This time with Mr. Flawfinder, discussing the new Madoka movie: Rebellion. I haven’t listened to it yet because I can’t stand listening to myself talk (does anyone really like the sound of their own voice?), but we had a pretty productive conversation with some nice tidbits (free from any major spoilers short of pointing out the fact that there do exist major spoilers) about the movie and the franchise as a whole. Our actual discussion was about as long as the movie itself, so thankfully Flaw managed to edit it down to a more typical podcast length. He’s got a whole 12 Days post about it, with timestamps and a much better synopsis than this one, so if you’re interested, you can check that out (and listen to the podcast) over at his blog.

Or if you just want to listen to it, I’ve embedded the file below.

There’s something amazing about extended sequences with minimal dialogue like this that enhances the emotions tenfold. Whether it’s for the serenity of Aiura’s first episode, or the depravity of Popee the Performer, or the psychological devastation of Texhnolyze, the things that aren’t said speak so much louder than the things that are. In the Leaning Tower episode of Armor Hunter Mellowlink, that emotion is fear.

In this episode, the hunter is himself hunted. Being stalked by a faceless foe in an upended spaceship that stands tall like a skyscraper with its innards built sideways, gravity itself has become Mellowlink’s enemy. As shots are fired from the end of a now-vertical hallway below, a grenade is dislodged and falls from above. Wire traps in this disorienting environment become even harder to avoid. In the deathly silence, every movement could betray his location, and in the darkness, his pursuer could be just upon him but still remain out of sight. Or even worse, rather than following Mellowlink at all, he could be sitting in the control room.

Elevators conspire to crush Mellow, but he barely manages to escape, forced into a large enclosure filled with stationary scopedogs. Could the enemy be hiding in wait behind any of these armored troopers? Could he be sitting inside one, waiting for Mellow to come near enough? A figure darts up the stairs towards a door, Mellow fires and misses, and the man is gone. Before Mellow can begin to give chase, there’s a noise. In silence like this, a noise is never a welcome sign. Light streams in, the floor begins to move, and the supports holding the scopedogs in place release as the entire room slowly angles downward to the outside. As Mellow begins to slide down the slope, held in place only by the bayonet of his rifle, so too do the mechanical beasts begin their gravity-inspired march to the ground far below, threatening to trample the helplessly immobilized Mellow, to force him to join their suicidal parade.

When at last the stampede looks to have stopped, Mellow is left hanging from his rifle, gasping as he watches the last of the scopedogs meet the fate that was meant to be his own.

Turning his gaze back upwards to begin his climb, he realizes that it was not the last. One final mech stares him down; this puny human is all that stands between its towering mass and the earth it so wishes to reach. The groan of metal on metal fills the chamber as the scopedog slides inch by inch off of the small pegs that hold it in place. In an instant, the tension snaps, and all Mellow can do is let go as the possessed green mass above him begins its tumbling free fall.

In other words, scopedogs are the most moe of all robots.

Time to Oil Up!

JoJo’s committed now. He’s got the ring and everything. There’s no escape at this point; he’s actually got to train in the Ripple for the next month and fight the Pillar Men, so he and Caesar travel to Venice to meet with Caesar’s Ripple coach. The coach in question? Lisa Lisa – a stunning femme fatale playing Jesus in the Venetian canals who thinks not twice about putting JoJo in his place. JoJo’s been a man’s tale so far, but the coach is so hotblooded and so coolheaded that she can strike a fear into the hearts of our heroes that not even a Pillar Man could muster.

It doesn’t take long before she’s dropped the two of them into a pit of oil and forced them to climb their way out up the 24-meter Hell Climb Pillar. With no tools but their own fingertips to assist them, and every reason to believe that Lisa Lisa really will leave them down there to die, they must hone their Ripple powers to escape. Before they can even hope to defeat the Pillar Men, they must first conquer the Pillar.

Caesar reaches the top using the advanced Ripple techniques he’s learned over time, while JoJo employs more of his trademark magician’s tricks. With the Pillar conquered, they are ready to take on the Men.

EWW EWW EWW

Unfortunately, their training is interrupted by a real Pillar Man, as AC/DC quickly sends JoJo’s instructor, Loggins, down the highway to the danger zone, and goes on to challenge JoJo directly to the most HOTBLOODED battle yet (thanks to gedata in the comments for reminding me to include this pun). The fight having begun, he proceeds to show off what is possibly one of the most disgusting powers ever.

I mean… he fights using blood vessels coming out of his toenails! Even his outfit is painful to look at – it’s all stuck to his body by way of stitches and nails – the enormous piercings all over his face are nothing in comparison! His specialty is sticking himself full of holes and bleeding boiling blood all over his foes! I just… *shudders*

Tricking the Trickster

AC/DC doesn’t win fights solely by grossing out his opponent so much that they vomit themselves to death, though. He’s a fighter in the same vein as JoJo – his spine-tingling power is only one of the mind games he plays with his enemies in combat. His sudden turns of emotion throw JoJo off his guard.

He even steals JoJo’s own favorite tricks! Instead of the string of his hat, AC/DC uses his own blood vessels to set up a noose and trap his opponent. In a pure power play, he not only steal’s one of JoJo’s trademark lines – he steals JoJo’s line about stealing lines!

As rattled as he is, JoJo still manages to catch AC/DC in his web by taking his sleight of hand one level further – he knows AC/DC is expecting the classic rope trick, and is even using it against him, so he sets up a decoy – a rope which can safely be cut without breaking the loop. With a ripple through the string, the battle is over.

But JoJo was not the only one to take his trickery to the next level. With one final ploy, every bit as gross-and-gory as the ones that preceded it, AC/DC makes it clear that the fight is not over – and he’s determined to show JoJo who’s really got the best head on his shoulders.

This is not a Gatchaman Crowds post; the lyrics just seemed appropriate.

That Kick-Heart even exists at all is a testament to so many things. We’ve got a big anime house – Production IG – going out of their way to make a risky experimental short film with very niche appeal and a strange art style from a creator whose works consistently turn in woeful sales figures, and on top of that, are pushing to market it to the traditionally stingy and traditionally ignored Western audience. There is no way something like this could happen under normal circumstances. For this project, they turned to the Crowds. It’s kind of like ~The Cloud~, only not at all.

I wrote about Kick-Heart and the idea of crowdfunding anime a while back, when it was still uncertain whether or not it would succeed, but I never really provided an update afterwards. Well, it succeeded relatively spectacularly, as fans pledged over $50,000 more than the original $150,000 goal.

But this all happened last year. What’s it doing on the 2013 list? Well, there are several reasons.

For one thing, this is the year in which our efforts bore fruit – in 2013, Kick-Heart actually happened. Whereas crowdfunding anime was just an idea prior to this, an anime funded by fans had now completed production. It made its rounds at film festivals. It won awards. It had a premiere at Anime Expo. It aired on Cartoon Network’s Toonami block. The supporters received the finished product. Crowdfunded anime was no longer just a concept – it was a Blu-Ray disc, a poster, and a goofy t-shirt in the hands of Masaaki Yuasa fans around the world. All this made possible by a dedicated Crowd of anime fans who put their money where their mouths were and showed Yuasa and company that they really wanted this anime made.

This was also the year that the movement pioneered by Kick-Heart started to take off.

Some creators and licensors passionate about their existing works took the trend in a new direction and, instead of raising funds for the creation of anime, did so for a limited, independent worldwide release of their work, opening the door to fans of more niche titles that were overlooked for licensing. Yasuhiro Yoshiura kicked off the trend with Time of Eve, which flew past its modest goal within hours of its announcement and went on to earn 1196% of its originally-requested amount; the Blu-Rays should start shipping next month. Later in the year, a Bubblegum Crisis deluxe release was put, through, and in a unique twist on the typical Kickstarter model, project lead Robert Woodhead is currently working with the fans to decide which bonus features they’d like to see for their money. Anime Sols was also founded this year, streaming titles in the hard-to-market “oldie” niche and offering fans the chance to crowdfund their favorite streaming shows. While it’s been a thrilling ride, often coming right down to the deadline, and not all the titles have been funded (rest well, Pastel Yumi), some of the bigger names have reached their goals – Creamy Mami, Black Jack, and Dear Brother all have DVD sets in the works by Right Stuf International, known for high-quality releases of titles like Aria and Utena.

While licensing anime is certainly less costly (and thus easier to raise funds for) than producing one from the ground up, several creators have been inspired by Kick-Heart’s success to crowdfund their own original anime. The sequel to Studio Trigger’s Little Witch Academia is the most notable and successful example, with 7938 fans raising over $625,000 – three times as much as Kick-Heart – to help add an additional 15 minutes to its runtime. Even Mirai Mizue’s abstract anime, Wonder, managed to scrape by – a “wonder” in itself that so obscure and experimental a project could receive such support – and this “365 days animation project” is now touring film festivals.

The trend hasn’t stopped, either. Currently raising funds is Santa Company, a super-cute Christmas anime from Kenji Itoso, a student of Hayao Miyazaki and Satoshi Kon. Santa Company is a movie he has been planning for 12 years, and he is now able to reach out to the Crowds to help him see it through. It’s currently just past $45,000 of its $50,000 goal with 16 days to go, so it’s well on its way to SAVING ANIME CHRISTMAS. I’m still going to plug it anyway because if it gets to $150,000 we get a dub, a deluxe edition BD, and a light novel, so PLEDGE YOUR SUPPORT TO SANTA COMPANY AND HELP SAVE CHRISTMAS!

All this about crowdfunding is nice and all, but what about Kick-Heart? Was it any good? Was it worth it?

HECK YES IT WAS GOOD! Kick-Heart is exactly the type of story that puts Yuasa into his comfort zone, and he did not disappoint here one bit. Kick-Heart is full of his impactful, free-flowing animation with strange distortions and sketchy lines that give it a very personal, hand-drawn feel. The emotions run high in this bizarre love story, the wrestling metaphors are deftly and goofily handled, we got a happy ending, great comedic variety, a soundtrack quirky enough to match the animation (which was included as a bonus for some backers), all packed into less than 15 minutes.

But what it had, most of all, was a heaping helping of heart.

To coincide with Lisa Lisa’s first appearance in yesterday’s JoJo post, today’s Mazinger post will focus on Kabuto’s own commanding female mentor, Tsubasa Nishikiori. Because if you can make a man called DR. HELL shake in his boots, you know you’re scary.

Tsubasa makes a remarkable first impression: a lone woman standing unfazed in the center of a robot battlefield, barking commands at Mazinger as if to control it herself. From the ground she impatiently instructs Kouji in firing the earth-shattering Photon Beam attack, taking out a previously untouchable flying robot bomb headed for the city behind them, along with a good chunk of the approaching air fleet.

In the aftermath of the battle, it is not the destructive photon beam which the evil Dr. Hell is worried about, it is “that woman.” The woman who “along with Bardos Island, once killed [him]!”

Upon discovering that their mortal foe is on the hunt, Dr. Hell tries to call back Baron Ashura, but is too late to rescue… uh… them from danger.

Which one is scarier, indeed?

As good as the Berserk anime ended up being, the adaptation overall felt very… awkward, shall we say. Especially early on, it seemed to have trouble figuring out how to bring out the most of its source material, like it was just trying to put the scenes from on screen and hope it worked. Admittedly, I haven’t read the manga, so I’m completely guessing, but a lot of the issues I had seemed more directorially inclined than inherent to the source. Indeed, it was primarily the themes, the characters, and their relationships that encouraged me to stick it out to the end, despite my misgivings about its presentation.The most interesting of the characters was, of course, Griffith. It’s astounding to watch as he sweeps up everyone around him into his grand dreams for the future. At his highest point, all the hopes and all the fears of every character center squarely on him. It seems like all but a certainty that he – despite his humble origins – will claim the crown, and that everyone will come out better for it in the end.

But there’s a hunger building up in Griffith, a need on which he places all of the weight that bears down upon him. There is one man capable of undermining everything that he has worked for, one man Griffith is desperate not to lose.

It all started with a duel between two young swordsmen in a field. It was a most unusual duel: with one combatant standing on the other’s sword, and the other fighting back with his teeth. Griffith’s experience ultimately won the day over his opponent’s Guts, and he claimed his spoils with a piercing gaze and a single phrase:

“Now, you are mine.”

It was in that moment that was sparked one of anime’s most destructively unhealthy and unforgettably tragic relationships. A relationship that would drive a great leader to bring about his own downfall, that would lead him to at once betray all those most dear to him and unleash an unspeakable evil upon the world.

And also naked water fights.

Back in Black

Having only just survived his battle with JoJo, all that’s left of AC/DC is a brain and some blood vessels. He needs to hurry and find shelter before the sun comes up and destroys him once and for all. Surrounded by powerful Ripple users, his only choice is Lisa Lisa’s assistant, Suzy Q. With his new disguise, he’s able to ship the Red Stone of Aja – the key to unlocking the full potential of the Pillar Men – off on a shipping boat, out of Lisa Lisa’s clutches. His purpose fulfilled, he blows his cover by doing the one thing a Pillar Man cannot help but do: start posing.

Suzy Q’s normal human body cannot hope to achieve the fabulousness of a Pillar Man, so it’s up to JoJo and Caesar to exorcise AC/DC before he makes her pose herself to death. Only with their combined power can they force him out into the open, where they let the sunlight take care of the rest.

Cars vs Cars

The Red Stone has been stolen by Nazis! Are Caesar and JoJo bad enough dudes to recover the Stone? Of course they are, so they set off on a road trip to get it back. But so is Cars – AC/DC gave his life to get the stone out of the Ripple users’ hands, and he is determined to see to it that this sacrifice was not in vain. However, as he casually strolls down the road to the Nazis’ hideout, some important business comes up that he has to take care of.

German Science is the Finest in the World

At the Nazi hideout, Cars senses the heat inside the cabin to detect several Nazis standing guard against the back wall. Having identified each of their heights, a single sweep of his arm blade through the wall easily beheads the lot of them.

But once inside, Cars discovers that there was a phantom sixth man, a mechanical soldier who had been eagerly anticipating his arrival. JoJo bursts into the room just in time to see the mysterious figure unmasked…

Stroheim has received a full-body upgrade since being blown to bits in the fight against the first Pillar Man, Santana. He’s now gone fullmetal, using the awe-inspiring power of German Science, the greatest in the world!

Alas, Cars is also armed to the teeth, and he manages to grab the Stone and make a break for it!

Five Seconds Until Impact

German Science proves itself once again, as Stroheim’s UV eye laser knocks the Stone from Cars’ grip, and it, JoJo, and Cars all race down the slippery slope toward the edge of the nearby cliff.

It’s a game of chicken, but Cars holds all the cards, as he can easily survive the fall. He anticipates one of JoJo’s many tricks, but JoJo sees it coming and manages to get his hands on the Stone. Cars has got just as many tricks up his sleeve (or boot, in this case), and in a quadruple-cross of tricks, counter-tricks, counter-counter-tricks, and counter-counter-counter-tricks, they both take the plunge, with the Stone in JoJo’s hand. With only five seconds until impact, it’s do-or-die time.

…except that the five seconds to impact really ends up being more like three minutes. Cars threatens to cut JoJo in half and retrieve the stone at the canyon floor; there’s no way for JoJo to dodge the attack. But this is JoJo we’re dealing with, and he deals with the situation in a way that only JoJo could.

Ricocheting his way to a safe landing, Cars is left once again without the stone. At least this time, he takes it with a sense of humor.

Aku no Hana raised quite a fuss this year, about – quite predictably – the rotoscoped animation. I honestly thought the unusual style fit the show well, even if it could’ve used some more intense light/dark contrast like the manga’s art, and it looked better and better with each episode. Easily my favorite of the spring season, and possibly my favorite show not carrying over from a previous year, Aku no Hana was a deliberate, excellently-plotted series with a number of extremely powerful crucial moments, though due to the way it ended it is desperately in need of a second season it will likely never receive.

I had an incredibly hard time deciding between this moment, the rainy hilltop showdown, and Nakamura: Deito Ninja for inclusion on this list. But in the end, there’s really no other moment that better represents Aku no Hana as a whole than Kasuga’s beautifully-directed downward spiral around the classroom.

The haunting ending theme, which had always slowly faded in during the closing seconds of any episode to great effect, is on full display here, in all of its distorted, arrhythmic glory. While the cinematography for the scene is excellent, it truly is the music that gives it such tremendous power.

This is Kasuga’s big release – after holding everything in for so long, after holding everything back for all this time, it is in this moment that he finally lets everything go. All the suffocating pressure of his most repressed desires is unleashed upon the classroom, a black paint that covers every surface and a destructive energy that topples all the desks and chairs. And in the center of it all, at the heart of the flower of evil, lies the gym uniform. The sick bond he shares with both Nakamura and Saeki, the first perversion to bubble up out of a container ready to burst. Nakamura dances with delight. Kasuga rages with passion. In the moonlit classroom that night, they achieved their first taste of pleasure, the blooming of the flower of evil.

“Personally, I think that the unique and supreme delight lies in the certainty of doing ‘evil’–and men and women know from birth that all pleasure lies in evil.” -Charles Baudelaire

But really, we all know what the ACTUAL best scene from the show is:

If there’s anything I’ve learned from the 12 Days of HOTBLOOD project, it’s that while watching JoJo is a metric truckload of pure, unadulterated fun, I watch Mazinger with something more akin to awestruck respect and admiration. Does that mean Mazinger is all SERIOUS BUSINESS all the time? Of course not! This is Go Nagai we’re talking about! There’s not a Go Nagai work out there without a heaping helping of hilariously grotesque hyperviolence or giggle-inducingly bizarre fanservice of some kind or another. Here are a couple of the best ones.

PILDER ON!

This first wacky hijink is one of my absolute favorite moments in the entire series. In episode 12, Kouji and the Mazinger have been captured and are currently being held by Baron Ashura in the baddies’ underwater fortress. Having ordered Kouji locked away, he/she/they/it/zhe clears the room in which Mazinger is held for some “private time” with their(?) robot nemesis. They have some very important business to take care of…

The Obligatory Fanservice Shower Scene

After their “private time” with the Pilder, Ashura’s in need of a good shower. I’ll just… I’ll just let that explain itself.

Major League Broccer

Count Brocken is, much like Stroheim in yesterday’s JoJo post, a German cyborg. Much like the other German soldiers in yesterday’s JoJo post, he also has a lot of trouble keeping his head on his shoulders. While he’s an intimidating bad guy none the less, and his air fleet is a force to be reckoned with, this little trait of his is a source of nearly unlimited comedic potential. We are given our greatest dose of this in episode 19, when Boss and his crew manage to nab his head and start a pickup game of soccer.

And of Course

This is followed by another Ashura bath scene.

On the one hand, it was a huge bummer that the last two episodes of Girls und Panzer were delayed three months until the end of March. On the other hand, MAN was it worth the wait. The Katyusha scene from episode 8 having just missed the list last year, Panzer was a real sleeper hit, and the finale delivered spectacularly.

Our first taste of beauty is watching Turtle Team’s little modified Hetzer zooming around the battlefield wreaking utter havoc on the other team’s formation. Nishizumi long jumping from tank to tank. Three tanks teaming up to take down the monstrous Maus. The incredible street battle in the city, with exciting and clever cinematography and really well-done maneuverability tactics.

And then it’s the showdown between the Nishizumi sisters – the conflict we’ve been building up to all this time. Miho vs. Maho. The unpredictable new school style of tank-won-do vs the time-tested Nishizumi method. The last chance Miho has to win the battle and save her school.

It’s a superbly-directed scene. Even once you get past the initial shock of “OH MY GOD SHE JUST DRIFTED A TANK,” the angles and the timing and the raw power of the final face-off come together to make it a true spectacle to watch. The tension just hanging in the air for that split second before the shots are fired, so thick you could cut it with a butter knife. But Tsutomu Mizushima ain’t about to use no (girls und) pansy butter knife. No, he is blowing that tension to tiny bits with the deafening roar of two simultaneous tank rounds.

I just do not have the time this holiday season to keep up this insane rate of posting, and with the HOTBLOOD posts especially, I really really don’t want to rush them, because JoJo and Mazinger are very special to me and I want to do them justice with as high quality a post as I can put out. I will do my best to finish the rest of the regular 12 days, but the HOTBLOOD posts will be back after New Years sometime.

Same with my Anime Secret Santa post; I’ve watched two of the three titles given to me, but I just don’t have time to write about it right now. So I’ll be making the post, but it will be in 2014.

MOVE OVER, REDLINE! THERE’S A NEW KING OF RACING ANIMATION IN TOWN!

I mean seriously, take a minute to appreciate all the little details that make this one short clip from the show so amazing. The background that loops after less than two seconds. The fact that there’s a baby driving a car shaped like a hammerhead shark with teeth and I’m not even sure what those accessories are supposed to b- are those stroller wheels on the front? I don’t know, the gif won’t stay still long enough for me to tell. Mister Judge flies through the air and bounces off of this car as if it’s a trampoline, and it explodes into a hilariously poorly-integrated fireball and ridiculous particle effects. Seven hand drawn years ain’t got nothin’ on this.

If you haven’t seen INFERNO COP yet, what on EARTH are you waiting for. There are thirteen episodes and they’re like five minutes each, and they’re all available officially, legally, for free, on Youtube, with subtitles that occasionally have cute Engrish grammatical mistakes in them for supplemental hilarity. Here’s a playlist that plays all the episodes in order for you, so you don’t even have to do anything, complete with bonus “Fact File” episodes.

I honestly couldn’t tell you anymore if I prefer Imaishi’s work with a budget or without a budget. He can put out some awe-inspiring animation if he’s got the cash for it, but his stupid low-budget gag stuff is just the funniest crap.

Noa Izumi was slaying titans before it was cool.

Only instead of a titan, it was a GIANT ROBOT.

And instead of flying around with 3D maneuver gear, she scaled it with HER BARE HANDS.

And instead of a pair of swords, she took it down by destroying its back-of-the-neck weakpoint with AN F-ING SHOTGUN.

All while HANGING FROM THE TOP OF A SKYSCRAPER.

Oh, and Patlabor: the Movie came out in like the 80s.

Kids these days.

Speaking of Shingeki, let’s go back to that drifting thing for a moment.

The OreImo season 2 specials were… let’s call them “special”. I’m… I’m honestly actually kind of impressed at just how all-encompassingly terrible they managed to be. I’ve been trying for at least the last half an hour to come up with specific things about it that make it so bad, but the narrowest I can get is “all of it.” I can’t even come up with an adequate metaphor for how badly this crashed and burned. Who was this made for? Who was supposed to like it? I don’t even think Kirino fans got a satisfactory conclusion here, and the whole point of these three episodes seemed to be to turn everything that the series had been about so far upside-down and drop it repeatedly on its head until a Kirino “victory” dribbled out. I just… when was even the last time I got actually mad at an anime? (the ending of OreImo S2) Even SAO left me more disappointed and jaded than upset. That alone is probably worth a mention on this list. InuShinde over at The Cart Driver has me covered here, along with a much more coherent visualization of the utter implosion of the series upon itself that these three episodes represent than I can muster through the stuttering disbelief it leaves upon my tongue.

Somehow, every single character is systematically destroyed from the inside out – their personalities, their actions, even their feelings for Kyousuke feel entirely alien and out of place. They’re not even recognizable as the same people. And then, in the final episode, at the height of the series’ death throes, it happened.

This is probably the single most satisfying scene from any anime this year.

It wasn’t even just the punch, though. It wasn’t even just the gloriously unexpected catfight. It was the complete, 100% verbal thrashing that Manami doled out when all was said and done. I’ve never even cared for Manami all that much as a character throughout the series. But as every other character, both beloved and otherwise, seemed to simultaneously lose their minds, it was Manami who stood tall, Manami who took a stand and laid down the law.

And Kyousuke’s response?

Okay. That’s it, then. That’s fine. This show knows exactly what it’s doing. It’s laid down, in surprisingly lucid detail, the full extent of its delusional mindset. It’s made its choice in full understanding, and I respect that. I now know with complete certainty that I can safely extract any remaining emotional investment I may have had in the series – I don’t even have to pretend to care anymore. It’s almost liberating. Cathartic. It’s not even that I find the incest itself offensive, or that Kyousuke’s outburst is at all out of character for the series, because I don’t, and it’s not – it’s the extent to which the show had to tear the rest of its cast to shreds to reach this point, and that, on top of settling for Worst Girl, he is actively and knowingly bringing so much pain upon her, himself, and those close to him in order to do so. For as stupid as OreImo was, I had actually kind of liked it, and I had actually grown attached to the characters, and it was hard to see these episodes happen to them.

In the ultimate irony, I have never identified with the show so much, never legitimately loved the show so much, as in this moment, the moment in which it vents all its ills and holds Manami – however definitively selfish her motives may have been – as a mirror in front of my face. For the first time, OreImo has truly spoken to me, and this is what it had to say about itself:

In this one moment, we are all Manami. OreImo has finally given way to reveal its very core. And it may hurt a little, to be turned down so bluntly by the one imouto light novel show that ever seemed to have an ounce of sense to it. But we’re free from it now. And though we’ve come out of it battered and bruised, all we can do now is turn around, walk away, and try our best to move on and forget.

Oh, what's this in my cabinet? http://t.co/l8w1ZkpeIx—
Boku Satchinger Z (@satchiikoma) June 22, 2013

It’s Christmas Eve; I reserve the right to make today’s 12 Days post unfathomably lazy.

So this is how my friend and I spent the first part of our afternoon. http://t.co/J9GmYJKAed—
Boku Satchinger Z (@satchiikoma) June 22, 2013

More HYPER OATS ADVENTURES http://t.co/eARCOkSoxL—
Boku Satchinger Z (@satchiikoma) June 22, 2013

We're gonna make some HYPER OATMEAL COOKIES http://t.co/PTQnG61YN1—
Boku Satchinger Z (@satchiikoma) June 22, 2013

Wet ingredients: mixed.
Dry ingredients: mixed.
Oven is preheating. This is happening.
#HyperOatmealCookies http://t.co/qsG1zsSVVy—
Boku Satchinger Z (@satchiikoma) June 22, 2013

Wet and dry ingredients mixed! It's almost time! http://t.co/L4VfaygMMT—
Boku Satchinger Z (@satchiikoma) June 22, 2013

CAUSE I FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL
#HYPEROATMEALCOOKIES http://t.co/ueY4ezW0By—
Boku Satchinger Z (@satchiikoma) June 22, 2013

Here it is: HYPER OATMEAL COOKIE DOUGH http://t.co/NKZG5I65ut—
Boku Satchinger Z (@satchiikoma) June 22, 2013

34 HYPER OATMEAL COOKIES ready for baking

Oven temperature coefficient: 350 degrees. http://t.co/U0sdVpnAsf—
Boku Satchinger Z (@satchiikoma) June 22, 2013

http://t.co/MxwhMEVBj4—
Boku Satchinger Z (@satchiikoma) June 22, 2013

These cookies brought to you by HYPER OATS: The Only Food You'll Ever Need™ http://t.co/5bg6YimomL—
Boku Satchinger Z (@satchiikoma) June 22, 2013

The cookies were absolutely delicious, by the way.

This carol is dedicated to Click, Shinmaru, Geassed, and all those with whom I had the pleasure of enjoying this masterpiece one fateful weekend in March.

O Kenya Boy, O Kenya Boy

How we adore your madness

Your Nazis and atomic bombs,

Lizard men and pteranodons

Oh Kenya Boy, O Kenya Boy

How we adore your madness

O Kenya Boy, O Kenya Boy

You bring us art so splendid

With rhinos charging through the screen,

And oft-forgotten coloring

O Kenya Boy, O Kenya Boy

You bring us art so splendid

O Kenya Boy, O Kenya Boy

Ever so slightly racist

White goddesses, brave Japanese,

Punching the black off men with ease

O Kenya Boy, O Kenya Boy

Ever so slightly racist

O Kenya Boy, O Kenya Boy

Such an array of creatures

We love your giant carnivores,

From frogs and snakes to dinosaurs

O Kenya Boy, O Kenya Boy

Such an array of creatures

O Kenya Boy, O Kenya Boy

How beautiful a movie

O Kenya Boy, O Kenya Boy

How beautiful: A MOVIE

Thank you, Kenya Boy. And Merry Christmas to everyone!

I’m back! You know what that means? It’s HOTBLOOD TIME. The second half of the 12 Days of HOTBLOOD resumes NOW (just in time to finish on January 25).

NOTE: Not that there haven’t been spoilers in all of these posts already or anything, but the ones in this post are kind of a bigger deal than usual. Just in case you care about that kind of thing.

Food Fight!

Let’s go back a few episodes for a minute, to the time when we first met Caesar Anthonio Zeppeli.

JoJo’s found himself in Rome. Having just come off of defeating Santana, the first of the Pillar Men, in Mexico, he continues his world tour to investigate the claim that three more have been discovered, as well as to meet with an acquaintance of Speedwagon’s. At his table in a fine dining establishment, he is unable to enjoy his meal, due to the courting ritual of some skirt-chasing rapscallion across the way. Fed up, JoJo decides to give the flirtatious phony a piece of his mind – more specifically, a Ripple-charged spaghetti noodle onslaught.

Without even bothering to look up from his hastily-stolen smooch, the man raises his own barrier of Kraft Macaroni and Ripple, catching the pasta projectile and hurtling it back from whence it came. As “Casanova” dons his black-and-white checkered cap, JoJo realizes to his dismay that this is Caesar Anthonio Zeppeli, the one he’s come here to meet.

The meeting gets off to a rough and Ripply start, with a ridiculous battle in which Caesar bewitches his poor date with Ripple kisses and JoJo responds with an unpleasant pigeon surprise.

Needless to say, the two of them are quickly inseparable friends.

Punks and Pillars

Back to the present, the last encounter between JoJo and Caesar goes down just like the first – with a fight. While JoJo has no connection to his past, Caesar is bound to it – he is heir to the Zeppeli curse. Mario Zeppeli had lost his father Will to the horrors of the Stone Mask, and despite his best efforts, passed the curse on as Caesar lost his own father to the Pillar Men. When Mario tried to break the cycle by cutting himself off from his kin, it left Caesar scarred, and he grew to hate the father who – for all he knew – had abandoned him.

When Caesar the Punk found his father and followed him into the Pillar Men’s lair, he sprung a trap – the dormant Pillar Men were less dormant than they first appeared, and tried to absorb the young Zeppeli into their stony prison with them. But at the last second, his father pushed Caesar out of danger, at the cost of his own life.

The Zeppeli Curse

Filled with regret for both his mistaken hatred of the man who had tried to shield him from this terror, and for indirectly bringing about his death, Caesar desires – no, requires revenge on the ones who twice took his father from him. Even as JoJo and Lisa Lisa warn against it, Caesar cannot hold this need back any longer – he storms the abandonned building that Wham and Cars have made their temporary shelter from the sun.

Greeted at the entrance by an invisible Wham, Caesar unleashes his rage. Three generations of despair bubble over, and Wham is left on the defensive. Caesar’s new bubble cutter technique can pierce even Wham’s windy shield, and the damage is piling up. Unable to fight both Caesar and the sun, Wham smashes through the wall to the safety of the inside.

While the rest of the JoJo anime had been lacking in animation (though certainly not style) up to this point, this was the fight that they poured it all into (or maybe stole the budget from Psycho Pass, which had some… err… production problems that same week). It’s one of the best fights in the series – and for JoJo, that’s saying something (I don’t have much to add that Shinmaru hasn’t already summed up perfectly). The wind and the bubbles fly through the air in all their fully-realized glory, Caesar and Wham roll and dodge around the main hall of the abandoned mansion. Before long, it looks like Caesar has the battle in the bag. He has Wham trapped, frozen in place by an impenetrable web of sunlight-reflecting bubbles, slowly eating away at Wham’s body from the outside. But it is here that Caesar acts just a little too rashly. It is here, when he has all but won, that his burning desire for revenge – his impatience and rage – becomes his undoing. In the move to strike a decisive, cathartic final blow against Wham, he fails to account for one thing: his shadow.

Wham seizes the opportunity, the split-second, the instant of shade, and summons forth his ultimate attack – the Divine Sandstorm. The bass drops. The bubbles vanish. Caesar crashes to the floor.

Just as Will A. Zeppeli had given Jonathan Joestar the last of his energy for the fight against Tarkus, so too does Caesar for Joseph. But he’s not about to let Wham take him down without a fight. Beaten and battered by the sandstorm, down to his final reserves of strength, Caesar tears the ring with the antidote from the lip of the unsuspecting Pillar Man, and leaves it for JoJo in one last, scarlet bubble.

A Moment of Silence

From the opera music to the lighting to the imagery to the acting to everything in between, the end of episode 20 ranks as one of, if not the greatest moment in this entire Bizarre Adventure. While the rest of the series is awesome and silly and exciting, with this scene, JoJo’s proved, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it could handle the serious moments every bit as masterfully. I’m not even going to try for my usual goofy commentary here. This scene deserves nothing less from me than my most awestruck reverence, as much as Wham had for Caesar when he left the scarlet bubble to float. JoJo and Lisa Lisa’s arrival at the final resting place of Caesar A. Zeppeli is an immensely powerful six minutes, the most emotional anime scene to air in 2013 by miles. It’s like getting hit by a freight train. I remember being on the Shounen Sunday call, laughing and joking around with the guys and enjoying the awesome fight scene and getting all into things like we always do, and then… just silence. Not a word. Not for those six minutes. Not during the ED. Not during the preview. Not for at least ten minutes after the episode had finished. In mourning and in awe, none dared break the stillness. There was nothing. Nothing but cold silence.

Rest in peace, Caesar Zeppeli.

This Time, It’s Personal

The wounds of their loss still fresh, JoJo and Lisa Lisa make their way through the deserted mansion to challenge the Pillar Men. Wham’s and Cars’ vampire minions try to stop them, of course, but serve as little more than an opportunity for Lisa Lisa to show off her coolheadedly confident mastery of the Ripple.

But even more impressive is her standoff with the Pillar Men. Surrounded by a thousand bloodthirsty vampires with little hope of escaping alive, she proves her mettle not only as a top-tier fighter, but as a more-than-capable negotiator as well. With a keen insight into her opponents’ motivations and some slick-lookin’ shades, she lays out a bluff tough enough for a Pillar Man, offering a one-on-one battle for the Red Stone of Aja in exchange for their safe escape. These are the men who killed Caesar. She’s not going to let even a horde of a thousand vampires get in her way. Ain’t nobody mess with Lisa Lisa.

At the colosseum, JoJo and Wham are the first to do battle. The manner of combat? Wham’s refined taste in warfare shall allow nothing less than an ANCIENT-ROMAN-STYLE COLISEUM CHARIOT DUEL. The steeds are vampiric stone-mask-laden beasts that can deliver a whopping 150 horsepower per horse. The appropriately-garbed vampire-zombies cheer Wham’s name as he tames the mighty beasts with his warrior’s charm (and murderous glare).

This is it. It’s time to get both Caesar’s revenge and revenge for Caesar. While Wham has donned his traditional warrior’s clothes (or lack thereof) to show that he means business, JoJo has much more riding on this battle – in an oath of his dedication to avenge his fallen friend, JoJo has yet to take the antidote for the poisoned ring bound around his heart. Until he has killed Wham – until he’s finished the job, he will allow himself no such reprieve. Because this fight isn’t just the fight for some hopeful saving-the-world ideal anymore. This fight isn’t even about who can strike the coolest poses. This fight is for Caesar. This time, it’s personal.